Blissville and Danny the stabber

I managed to find is some weird town called Blissville. When I jumped through the portal, I ended up right in the middle of the village and all of the town's people were staring at me...with their weird blissful expressions. I'm actually kind of annoyed about that to be honest, I seem to be the only one in Bliss that doesn't feel any bliss, I have no idea why though! Its probably the interdimensionary laser katana working its lasery magics on me.

When I arrived in Blissville, I was told by one of the town's people that I would need to get my money exchanged for Bliss dollars, which only gave me like 30 Bliss dollars to £100. Its ok though, because I had enough to pay for a hotel room and a team of people to keep my portal open and some weird food called Bliss nuggets...they're alright though, they're chewy. The town's people are actually quite friendly, they're just kind of annoying to talk to because they're blissful all the time and they go on about how much they love the Archangel.

Once I had all my affairs in Blissville sorted, I started going around town asking about Super Archangel and his whereabouts but they just started dancing and uttering what they called 'super prayers' to him. I was starting to get annoyed when I suddenly heard the voice again. We actually had a nice conversation.

Voice: Sup, Writerer hows it going?
Me: Trying to find out where Super Archangel is...
Voice: Follow the red lines.
Me: Wha?
Voice: Follow the fucking red lines!
Me: Ok! Ok!

So I took the voice's advice and followed a red line which was conveniently right in front of me, I took about 8 steps before it ended though, I turned around to leave to come face to face with a bearded gentleman with a monocle. He looked at me with a crazed expression and whispered "I hear you're looking for Super Archangel...". I nodded slowly and took a step back away from him. "They call me Danny the stabber in these parts... can you guess why?" he said as he began to draw a knife from his pants and then I noticed that it was in fact... a laser knife!

He lunged at me but I quickly parried with my laser katana and from there we had an epic battle that was so amazing that I can't possibly describe it properly in this post, so I won't try. Eventually though, we tired each other out and we went to Danny's cabin to discuss stuff. He lit his pipe (yeah, he smokes a pipe) and began telling me about how Super Archangel has begun trying to make Bliss more civilized and has begun removing the blissfulness feeling in people, he then told me of a map that always leads towards Archangel so it should still work on Super Archangel.

Danny got up at that point and got the map out of his pants and handed it over to me.

Danny: That is the map that leads to Super Archangel!
Me: Ok, ok, you don't need to yell...
Danny: I shall accompany you on your journey!
Me: Uh...no thats alri-
Danny: ONWARDS!!!!

And at that, he ran out of the door, I should probably set off too. I was just using Danny's computer to type up this post. Yep, they have computers here in bliss now, oddly enough, they run on windows 7... Well anyway, I really should set off on my journey.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Bass Solo and Super Archangel

Something bad just happened. Well, I say bad, you probably won't find it as bad as I find it bad, or like someone who doesn't read this blog at all, won't find it bad in the slightest, but I find it bad and that's how I'm going to describe the situation. I'm getting sidetracked... The fact of the matter is, something bad has happened, my room mate... has been taken. Here's the story of what happened:

Basically, me and my room mate were playing guitar hero and my room mate was yelling at me because I kept trying to do bass solos. When all of a sudden, there was a loud explosion from up stairs which alarmed us both, but then I remembered that I had set my computer to play the sound of explosions at random intervals so we calmed down a bit. All of a sudden, we saw Archangel crashing through the window.

Archangel stood up, shaking off the glass and looked over at me and my room mate. "Sup..." he said, me and my room mate didn't really respond, we were kind of startled. He then said "Usually its polite to say hi back but whatever...But anyway, Writerer! Witness as I gain ultimate power!" I had had enough of Archangel by then so I went, "What is your problem?!" This made the Archangel step back a bit as if I made him jump.

He didn't answer me, but instead took a glass orb out of his pocket. I noticed that a miniature slenderman was trapped inside it, I could see him trying to break free from the glass orb, slenderman looked mad. Archangel rose the glass orb in the air and shouted "Watch as I gain ultimate power!" and then Archangel started eating the glass orb, don't ask me how he did it with a gas mask, he literally started eating the glass orb with slenderman in it!

And suddenly, a silvery glow came out of Archangel's gas mask eye parts. As this happened, I turned to see my room mate being dragged by an invisible force towards Archangel, she didn't seem very happy about it...in fact, she seemed scared. I rushed over and tried to grab her hand, to pull her away from Archangel, but I was to late... she got sucked into Archangel's gas mask. As soon as that happened, the silvery light, turned golden.

As I watched Archangel do something, I saw him beginning to get taller and more and more steampunky, he also started to take his trench coat off for some reason... he didn't have a shirt on underneath, he didn't have nipples either, nor a bellybutton. After about 1/2 an hour, the light stopped and I looked at Archangel to see this. (I took a picture of him, don't ask how or why.)

"This...power...it is so...powerful!" he said, with a mixture of Archangel's, Slenderman's  and my room mate's voice. I stepped back a little. "What did you do to my room mate, Archangel!" I shouted at him. He looked over at me and said "I am no longer Archangel... Call me SUPER ARCHANGEL!" I thought that was a stupid name and was about to tell him when suddenly he rose one of his steampunk styled tentacles and with a flash of golden light, someone appeared in its grasp.

I realised that it wasn't just any person, it was this guy I knew, he went by the name Somnambulist. Somnambulist looked at me and said "All is right when you make the rules!" Super Archangel rose another steampunk tentacle and jammed it into Somnambulist's brain and before I knew it, he was dead. "Why the hell did you do that?!" I yelled at Super Archangel. He laughed at me and said "Testing out my powers... well I'll be leaving then, we shall have out battle a bit later, I have more power testing to do." and with that, he disappeared in a flash of smoke.

I was left standing there, alone. My room mate was actually gone this time... and I wasn't about to just sit down and take it, that dick head had taken my room mate and I can't afford to pay the rent by myself. So I grabbed my laser katana and slashed open a portal to bliss. I'm just getting my stuff ready and writing this post before I go.

I guess you could call this whole situation was... Khaos...

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Interlude and Weaponized Xbox Controllers

So lately, me and room mate have just been chilling out, we were pretty happy that we had defeated both Slenderman and Archangel. But I can't shake the feeling the feeling that something bigger, badder and stronger too, like the best member of that eldritch crew is going to show up at anytime. I told my room mate about this and she just laughed and threw an xbox controller at me... I'm not sure why she felt the need to throw something at me, but I'm probably going to refrain from telling her stuff like that for a while.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Battle #2 part 2 and Icelandic Accents

So I had the battle with Archangel, here's what went down:

I stared into Archangel's eyes...well, gas mask eye parts. He began to laugh and began yelling "Embrace the Archangel!" and suddenly rushed at me, preparing to strike me down with his scythe. Luckily, I was able to do a barrel roll to move out of the way. Archangel was fast though, as soon as I got back on my feet, I turned to see him swinging his scythe towards my head, I ducked and swung my laser katana at his legs, he jumped backwards to the other end of the arena. I knew something was up, why would he stop attacking?

It was then that I noticed that Archangel was spinning his scythe and starting to glow a yellow glow, I didn't know what was about to happen so I raised my laser katana and got into my defence position. We kind of just stood like that for a while and as I was beginning to let my guard down, Archangel shouted "Archangel's smite!" and then it dawned upon me. Archangel had charged and was using his limit break.

A tornado of darkness suddenly shot of Archangel's spinning scythe and went right into me, I tried to endure it, but eventually the gust caught me and almost made me fall off of the ledge, luckily I had managed to grab on to the ledge. I tried to pull myself up but found that I didn't have enough strength left in me, after being hit by Archangel's limit break. I looked up to see Archangel's gas masky face staring down at me. "I believe I have won, I'll just leave you here to fall..." he began to turn around and I truly felt defeated, I was giving up.

But then, I heard a voice in my head, it came out of nowhere and was in my head. It talked with an American accent...like a New York accent with a big hint of an Icelandic & German accent... I then began to wonder how I knew what an Icelandic accent sounded like but I realised that the voice was still talking.

"...and that's the summary of who and what I am and my intentions... Anyway, get back up, pull yourselves together and kick that freak back to yesterday!"

These words for some reason, filled me with enough willpower to climb back up onto the arena and as I got up, I looked over at Archangel who was still walking away, I shouted over to him "Hey Archangel, I'm not done yet buddy..." Archangel turned around, I could see the annoyance in his...gas mask. He rushed at me once again, swinging his scythe frantically. But I was having none of this now, I rolled out the way and with deadly accuracy, I threw the laser katana straight at Archangel's gas mask. As it collided with his gas mask a bright shine and all of a sudden, I was standing in my bedroom.

I had won the battle. I looked around and saw Archangel, sitting on my bed. "No one has ever beaten me in combat...well except that Daniel Ferris guy...but whatever!" he said, then he turned around looking at me with pure fury emanating from his gas mask and said to me "Heed my warning Writerer! The next time we meet, I will be so much more powerful than you could ever imagine!" and with that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

But I noticed that where Archangel was originally, there was a needle labelled 'Room mate's cure' and my laser katana. I figured that these were my rewards. So I took the needle and jammed it into my room mate's head. She woke up after and straight away she was able to say things other than 'Embrace the Archangel'! So we went and celebrated by playing Rockband on vocals all night.

Life is good right now, if I disregard what Archangel said...

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Arch-ileitis and The Battle #2

I was awoken once again. As I was lying in bed, I felt a nudge on my back and could hear someone saying "Writerer...hey Writerer...are you awake?". I turned around and was face to face with the man in the gas mask, well I mean face to gasmask. As he saw the look of realisation in my face, he stood up straight. I could see that he was wearing a trench coat which basically covered his body...I kinda hoped that he was wearing something underneath.

So I kept laying in my bed and we kinda just stared at each other for about 30 minutes until finally he spoke. "So, you are the man who was able to hold his own against the Slenderman?" (I got his name right!) I slowly nodded, not sure what was happening. All of a sudden, he lifted his arms and shouted "Well then, I believe it is about time that I saw how good of a fighter you really are!"

At this, we suddenly weren't in my bedroom anymore, we were in what looked like a floating rock, it wasn't to big, if you've played Super Smash bros: Brawl, then you would notice that it was similar to that Final Destination map. I also noticed that I was no longer in my evening clothes but rather in a trench coat that looked quite similar to the gas mask guy's one except that it seemed somewhat more armourly. "Welcome to the Bliss Arena!" gas mask man said.

At this point, I decided to say something "Who the heck are you?!" The gas mask guy began laughing loudly and kept on laughing for what seemed like an hour until finally he said "You fool... I... AM THE ARCHANGEL!" I immediately recognised that name as the same one that my room mate has been saying for days now. I pointed at the archangel screaming "What did you do to my room mate?!" The Archangel looked like he was thinking for a bit before saying "She must have caught Arch-ileitis while I was near her. Tell you what, if you can defeat me, I will give her the antidote!"

I nodded to this and all of a sudden, a weapon rack appeared in front of me, it had all kinds of weapons on it, each being labelled clearly of what they were. Unfortunately, there was no iron fists, so with a sigh, I picked up the boring 'Laser Katana'. Jumping into my battle stance, I saw that the Archangel was wielding the 'Scythe of Large Proportion'. He looked over to me as we both took our sides of the battlefield and said "Get ready Writerer, this could be your final fight..."

Well I should really get back to this fight, Archangel let me blog about this part before we start.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Interrogations and More Archangel

I've been keeping her tied up down in the basement, I felt it was the most humane thing to do since plan B was to remove her legs... I've been bringing her food and I gave her a bucket for the toilet business and stuff so I think I'm being fair. I even gave her a TV...although, it can't change channel... and it only get 1 working channel...and its not on that channel right now.

Well anyway, I went to interrogate her today, you know, to like find out whats been going on. Since I have an awesome memory, here is a precise transcript of what was said and what happened. I'm 'Me' and room mate is 'RM'.

Me: *Walks into the room* Well well well...what do we have here?
RM: *Looks up* EMBRACE THE ARCHANGEL!
Me: Yeah...about that...its not that I don't want to embrace the Archangel, its just that...I don't give into peer pressure...
RM: *Sad look came over her face* *mumbles* embrace the archangel...
Me: Now...who is this Archangel?
RM: Embrace the Archangel! Embrace the Archangel!
Me: *Getting angry* No! I don't want to embrace him!
RM: Embrace the Archangel!
Me: No!
RM: *Shaking her head* Embrace the Archangel!
Me: Wait...is that all you can say?
RM: *Nodding* Embrace the Archangel!
Me: Oh...why is that?
RM: Embrace the archangel, Embrace the archangel, Embrace the archangel!
Me: *Nodding* I see...So if I let you go...will you not attack me?
RM: *Nods*

So after that, I untied her, she punched me at the first chance she got. But she nodded the truth and didn't attack me, so all is back to normal, except the fact that she can only say 'Embrace the Archangel. She is still able to write though so we're just using that for her to communicate.

 She says that she woke up and noticed that she could only say that, she went to try and wake me but I apparently overreacted and thought she was attacking me... Shes going to get it checked out tomorrow by seeing a doctor.

Well its getting pretty late, I should be going...

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Archangel and Knocking out Room Mates

So I had a bit of an awkward time trying to get to sleep last night, I was lying in bed, with my eyes closed and all of a sudden, my room mate kicks down the door. I could see that she was holding her sword of fire aspect and she was in her battle stance. Then out of no where she starts screaming "Embrace the Archangel!" and attacks me. What surprised me most is how agile she was with a broken ankle.
Luckily I was able to dodge the sword by doing a barrel roll onto the floor. She turned around to face me, fury showing in her eyes, and then swung the sword of fire aspect at me again. This time, I wasn't so lucky and she cut my leg... it immediately set on fire. So as well as dodging my room mate's sword attacks, I had to wait for the fire to stop.

As soon as it did, I grabbed for my emergency golf club and spun round to block her sword. We had a fierce fight between golf club and sword at that point, but eventually I was finally able to disarm her by using expelliarmus and even then, she was still screaming "Embrace the Archangel!" I tried to reason with her like saying "I'll embrace it if you shut the fuck up!" But she just carried on yelling it...

She wasn't really much of a threat once I took the sword of her though, I mean, she kept throwing punches at me that kind of hurt, but yeah, I was able to pin her down quite easily, in a non sexual way of course.

So eventually I got bored of the screaming and picked up the golf club and as I went to knock her out, she suddenly blinked and went "Huh? Where am I? Why do you have a gol-" That's when I hit her with the golf club. So I carried her to the bathroom, tied her up in there, and locked the door, because the door locks from the outside...

Well I should go give her some food, I'll end the post here...

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

The Battle and Inappropriate Puns

So there me and my room mate are sitting on the stairs, staring at the door. We knew that slenderman was drawing near because we could hear the ominous silence coming in. I looked to my room mate and said "It's time", she nodded back and we readied our weapons. We got into our battle stances that we had been preparing the whole day.

And all of a sudden there was a large bang at the door as if something was whacking against it, at this I let out a high pitch scream which made whatever was outside make a high pitch scream and we could hear the footsteps of them running off. Then another hour later, the door was suddenly destroyed with a loud crash. Me and my room mate gasped as we looked at the doorway, standing there was a tall figure standing there, it wore a suit and had no face, but I'm not going to question that at all, whatsoever. It was slenderman.

Me and my room mate took our battle stances, getting our weapons ready for our attack. But all of a sudden, slenderman rose his arms and from him came what looked like mini slendermans! They immediatly began to attack me and my room mate, whacking us with mini tentacles, it was actually quite annoying.

So I used my fist of iron to start punching them into the ground, every time I hit one, they seem to disappear in a flash of smoke. As I was punching them I looked over at my room mate and saw her using her iron sword of fire aspect like a pro, slashing through the mini slendermans like they were butter and to make it better, she even had a chance of setting them on fire!

Eventually the mini slenderman's numbers started to decrease until finally with a kick, I killed the last one. Me and my room mate did a quick fist bump before we looked back at slenderman, except... he wasn't by the door anymore. We looked around the house and found him in the kitchen going through our fridge! I tapped slenderman's back and as he turned around I said "Hey slenderman, you're about to get fisted..." and punched him with my fist of iron. But all I managed to do was make his tie, slightly messed up.

He then began laughing, well he looked like he was laughing, he doesn't exactly have a mouth... I saw a tentacle rise from his back, preparing to strike me down. I clenched my eyes shut, preparing for my inevitable death when all of a sudden I heard a window smash. I quickly turned round and saw some guy in a gas mask bursting through the window and using the sink to propel himself towards slenderman, tackling him.

Me and my room mate stood there and watched slenderman and the gas mask fellow rolling around wrestling on the floor. But eventually they began to slow down, they had clearly tuckered each other out. So I took the opportunity to get some revenge on slenderman, I looked over at my room mate and shouted "Use the limit break!" She nodded and leaped towards the slenderman sword pointed towards him, I punched her feet with my fist of iron to propel her towards him but I basically just smashed her foot with iron which seems to have broken it and she kind of just flopped onto floor, I looked up to see slenderman facing our direction as if to say "WTF?". The Gas mask guy used the opportunity of slenderman being distracted and shot him with a ray of light that came from his hands.

The Gas mask guy grabbed onto the weakened slenderman and with a flash they were gone. It was over, me and my room mate had done it, we survived. I guess I should go help my room mate clean up.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Upcoming battles and Slenderman's weird intentions

So today is the day that I predicted slenderman was going to come back (well reading the note he left is pretty much the same as me predicting it). Me and my room mate are practically ready, shes got her iron sword with fire aspect ready and I've got my fist of iron ready to smash. Slenderman is going to get destroyed one way or another.

In all honesty though I'm a little nervous of his intentions, I mean he literally stripped my room mate's clothes off before sticking her to the wall, the hell is up with that? I hope he doesn't do it to me... NO! I can't think like that, me an my room mate will strip him, and see how he likes it! I'm going to start with the tie...

I am so ready for this! I'm pretty sure slenderman is going to show up soon so I'm going to go and put on the one thing we're missing... Littlekuriboh's parody songs. LETS DO THIS!

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Stripping and Slenderman

So once I got my room mate down she told me about how a tall faceless thing wearing a suit came in, knocked her out, stripped off her clothes at some point and then stuck her to ceiling. I've never heard of this tall faceless thing before so I'll just call it slenderman. Slenderman must of been the one who turned down the TV, which really pisses me off because he also broke the volume controls to make it loud again (both on the TV and the remote).

When I was getting my room mate down I noticed a note lying on the bed it was hand written really badly, I think it says 'I'm coming back tomorrow!' I think it was left by slenderman who's saying that he'll come back tomorrow!

So me and my room mate are getting ready to battle him once he returns, luckily my room mate has an iron sword with fire aspect. And me? I have an iron glove with spikes on it, it doesn't have any enchantments on it but I think I can still do some damage to slenderman. We've barricaded the front door so he won't be able to get in. Its kind of awkward though because the mailbox is closed up too so we can't get any of our mail.

I should be finishing this post really, me and my room mate have some more stuff to prepare for.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Silence and sticky black slime

So there I was walking into my apartment and straight away I could tell something was off... there was way to much of an ominous silence as I walked in, usually when I walk in, my room mate would be doing her 4:00pm karaoke but I couldn't hear a thing. I tried to fix it by screaming, it worked for a while but eventually I ran out of breath and the silence came back. I knew something was amiss.

So being the ace detective that I was, I went looking around the house, I did a barrel roll into the living room and noticed that the TV was on...on mute that is. Me and my room mate have a rule here, the TV is to always stay on maximum volume. This was starting to making me worry. But I knew I had to keep looking around. There was literally nothing in the other rooms so I knew that was normal, that's when I heard something come from upstairs.

As I ninja'd my way up the stairs I noticed that there was a thick smell emanating from my room mate's room it smelled like that thing that grows in your cup of milk if you leave it for to long...this couldn't be true though I though...my room mate was lactose intolerant! At this thought I sprinted up the stairs and kicked down my room mate's bedroom door (It took a few kicks, I mean, I'm not the hulk).

As I walked in I saw that everything was...normal. The smell was still there but it was alright because like you know how you get used to a smell after a while, it was kinda like that. I was about to leave when for some reason that I'm not going to explain I looked up at the ceiling, there I saw something that made me want to projectile vomit all over the room.

It was my room mate, he was just kinda hanging there, nude and covered in sticky black slime (I knew it was sticky because I reached up and touched it. The slime was kinda like censoring out my room mate so that was considerate of whoever did this to them. My room mate looked at me with fear in her eyes and said nothing because her mouth was covered up.

And here I am now... I'm a little bit startled by it but I'm going to have be brave. I suppose I should rap up this post and get my room mate off the ceiling.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.